Coach Tour - Switzerland

Coach Tour - Switzerland

Coach Toilette aka ‘Labortoire Garnier’ Crossing into Switzerland today and the crossword puzzles and the cross-stitch began to appear. The highlight of the journey was a smelly problem with the coach toilet. Despite being asked to only use the toilet in an emergency, it was funny how those who did use it regularly, like ‘King George VI’ and Mr & Mrs Billericay, seemed to complain about the odour most. The driver told the old story of someone who accidentally tripped a coach’s sewage disposal lever in an autostrada tunnel covering its rear window and the following cars with a slipstream of blue chemicals. Apparently, a couple proudly driving a big German sports convertible had luckily avoided the atomised toxic cocktail by seconds! King George’s visits to the ‘labortoire garnier’ twice more prompted further discussion before arriving in Basle for dinner. It was rumoured he had been seen lurking behind waste bins waiting for an opportunity to relieve himself. His wife seems so nice – sorry – pleasant – the driver says we mustn’t use ‘nice’ because it doesn’t describe anything. She used to be quite active, even tried parascending. She now has a bad leg and walks awkwardly with a stick, with a gait similar to that of a sailor at sea. Dinner in Basle (Basel) We had only 10 minutes to disembark from the coach, get our room key and sit down to dinner. We sat by an open window overlooking the Rhine with tourists thronging the river bank bars outside the hotels grand dining room. We were soon joined by Mr & Mrs Sheffield, the teacher and his wife, Mr & Mrs Billericay and lo and behold, King George. Luckily his wife sat opposite at the end of the table so he was out of view the majority of the time. Rhine Basel (Wordpress) We all discussed the 12 hour journey from Tuscany to Switzerland, the motorway traffic jams and the price of drinks on the menu. Rooms were also compared with some confusion over which was the back or front of the hotel. We were at the front of the hotel overlooking a back street. The ‘others’ were at the back with commanding views of the Rhine. Much to our delight the Billericays had the same view as us and were kept awake by the revelries in a local bier Keller. Peanut Gallery Early breakfast with Mr and Mrs Southampton, I also struck up a short conversation with the ‘youngster’ of the coach, Ms Prim, long fingers, dark hair and long floral print dresses. She may even have hailed from West Dorset, who knows. She said that she had been partying the evening before, although she didn’t say with whom. She also said she was kept awake with the humid heat and noise from the street below her room. I surmise that she is travelling with her mother or great aunt, who normally takes over any conversation with the pair. The coach loaded, we left Basle at 8 am prompt. Mr and Mrs Southampton started a collection for our driver, Paul. No sooner than it had left the ‘Peanut Gallery’ at the rear of the coach than there was consternation amongst the passengers. Each couple donated what they could in whatever currency. Even the Billericays donated and passed the carrier bag containing the collection on to the next row. Suddenly up jumped Mr Billericay breaking the sounds of clinking coins and the rustle of bank notes. He swayed with the coach’s movement and tripped in his suede trainer style shoes in the direction of the sound of money. There were some loud whispers and he took his donation back out of the bag, following which he proudly went back to his seat, waving his bank notes to his wife. Shortly afterwards the collection was abandoned and the bag returned to the Peanut Gallery.

Coach Tour Part Three of Three

Switzerland

We made our way to northern France ready for the ferry from Calais back to England and never did find out if our driver ever received the monies from the collection! ooOoo